The night I found her just happened to be the night that her kidnapper planned to kill her. You see, he knew the FBI was finally onto him, and he was ...orried that they might be getting close, which they were. We got there in time to interrupt him, but he had a backup plan — destroying the house and everyone in it, thus eliminating the pursuit and also destroying all the evidence he had to leave behind when he fled. Fortunately, while he knew the FBI was after him, there was no way he could know. .." Am I too horny?" Too horny for... ?"She didn't answer."Haven't we had this conversation before?" Well ... yeah, but you know what I did this morning before you picked me up?"I decided not to answer with a wisecrack."What?" I played around with a banana, a mirror and some hand lotion." Kinky!" That's what I mean ... we have plenty of sex. And I'm happy with it, but why do I keep playing with it?"I thought a bit before I answered, not wanting to send the wrong message."Well, I'm happy too .... There was a terrible car accident. A woman was lying in the street, covered in blood. Someone in the crowd shouted, “Call a priest!”The woman opened her eyes and said, “I’m a Unitarian.”“Then call a math teacher!”HOW MANY (xxxxxx) DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?Anglicans: 8. One to call the electrician and 7 to say how much they liked the old one better.Charismatics: Only one. Hands are already in the air.Lutherans: Change?!?!?!?!?!Mennonites: At least 15. One to change the bulb and 3 or 4. I told her that Iwas feeling sick, and I was wondering if my friend Josie could take thejob instead. She said feel better, and as long as Josie is trustworthy,she would gladly take her. I told Ms. Arthur that Josie is verytrustworthy and nice, and that I know her really well.I went online to look for the stuff I needed. I ordered a cream to makeyour legs sexier, an artificial vagina that felt real, and cream to makemy face look temporarily more feminine, and a wig.An hour later all of the stuff.
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